I haven’t had many visions, and of the very few I have had, I can only attribute 1 to God, and one I do not believe was from God at all. But this is the vision I’m going to tell you about in this post is one I don’t know where it came from at all. But it did have it’s own impact on my life, and has some bearing on the ministry this website hopes to cultivate.
When I was young, I was abused by my father. It was in the late 1980s through to 1991 when the Department of Human Services got involved. I couldn’t tell you exactly how old I was when these things happened to me, but I can tell you that it was before I was 6 years old.
My first memory is of my father holding a pistol at my mother’s head, threatening both her, myself and younger brother. This was the kind of household I was growing up in, and because my father was so well liked by others practically no one believed my mother. Not until a babysitter found bruising on me and my brother.
My next memory was a vision. One I saw, but no one else did. I was too young to really understand anything of Christ. Every time we went to a church, we had to walk two miles to get there and by the time we arrived the church was more interested in getting my mother to watch after the children rather than letting her join congregation. This took away from the number of times we attended. So when I saw this vision- I had no frame to really put it into…but it stuck with me for years.
I was watching my mother reading in a chair from another room, where I was suppose to be asleep. When suddenly a ring of fire came up from the floor and when it died down, my father was standing there frantically trying to speak to my mother. He was asking for forgiveness, although I couldn’t see them, I felt like there were tears in his eyes. Then just as suddenly as the ring appeared, it came back and died down again with nothing standing there. Later I would learn that during this time my father was seeking counsel from a witch named Tish Owen. Tish, being the most well-known pagan in Nashville, TN, later started classes where she taught practioners how to take their pagan life to the next level. Unknowingly, my brother- who bears the same first and last name as my father- took one of those classes with his wife and they were certified to become High Priest and Priestess.
After the babysitters discovered our abuse, we were moved into fostercare. My brother, our younger sister and I were fortunate to be in the same household. This couple went to a Non-Denominational Church in Brentwood, TN called “New Hope Church”. That’s the first place I was able to learn any of the basic hero stories of the Bible, including Christ’s crucifixtion. A year later, my family was reunited with my mother, who became a member of “The Cathedral of Incarnation”, a Catholic Church. The couple which had taken me and my siblings in became our God-Parents, and I still enjoy a relationship with them to this day.
I was baptised with the Catholic Church, a few years after we joined. But as I kept going, I started questioning things for myself. My mother did too, and she started watching a televised Bible Study by Pastor Arnold Murray of Shepherd’s Chapel. We continued to go to Mass while my mother tried to figure out what to do next. But at the age of 13, I had my final straw when I read a newsletter by a Catholic organization. It talked about a church somewhere in South America which wanted to elevate the Virgin Mary to effectively be a goddess. At that point, I decided that if this is just how low Catholics could get because they were taught dangerous doctrine, then polytheism was a more likely candidate for how the world was suppose to work. Afterall, only Christianity and Judaism (I didn’t know about other traditions yet) were claiming one god, they must be the ones that are wrong.
So I took to private study and spoke with friends to get information about pagan worship. Where most people go to witchcraft because they could be in control of things, I walked into it because I thought it was theological correct. As I got further into it, control wasn’t my goal, but instead to be a public servant to others around me. So I took up witchcraft practices and new age thoughts in order to help the people around me overcome obstacles in their life. I wasn’t engaged in curses, I was more interested in healing.
My mother diverged shortly after and we attended a bible study formed around the Shepherd’s Chapel study model. I picked up some things from the Bible Study, such as how to actually find information out of a lexicon. The stories I remembered focused on the most were on visions of Ezekiel, the first few chapters of Genesis, prophecies in Matthew 24, and Revelation. I didn’t really take as much interest in anything else they were teaching. I had learned enough in the Catholic Church, and Revelation was becoming a huge topic in school because of the “Left Behind” series. Most of the time I was out hanging with the kids that attended and occupying them as the oldest in attendance.
Then at Passover 2000, my mother took me to get Baptised by Pastor Arnold Murray. Not wanting to reveal that I was actually pursuing something completely different, I went along with it. She watched and when everything was done she told me what she saw. She had watched Pastor Murray baptise others before me, but his baptism changed when he got to me. She said his whole demeanor changed, and it looked as though he was praying extra hard for me. I didn’t tell her the truth of my pagan studies until nearly 8 years after that baptism.
The next year, God sent an angel to call me out of witchcraft. Sad to say, but the truth is things didn’t end there for me. I continued with a lot of unease as to what to do next. Between my first vision (my father in a fire-ring) and coming face-to-face with an Angel of the Lord, I should have turned then…but my sins kept piling up.
Although I could go further on the topic. We would be here for far too long. The story of what happened in May 2002 and some of the things that led to this ministry is documented in my book. A book I do not seek to make money off of, and can be read it for free online here, or a physical copy purchased at the bare minimum Amazon would allow me to set the price at ($3.80): A Wicked & Adulterous Generation.